Money. It’s a cause of constant worry for many people in the best of times, but these days—with skyrocketing housing costs, rising inflation and roller-coaster markets—it may seem almost designed to provoke financial stress.
Suddenly, everything from a gallon of gas to a gallon of milk costs a dollar (or more) than it did a year ago. Those types of nondiscretionary expenses are painful for budgets; after all, you can’t sidestep price increases on essential items—that’s what makes them essential. Meanwhile, everyday luxuries that didn’t feel like splurges not so long ago (who doesn’t love a meal out?) now feel like budgetbusters (no one wants to pay $24 for a margarita).
So now we ask: How does one find calm when financial stress is on the rise?
You can’t control any financial issues that may have you counting sheep at 3 a.m. But you can control your response to that stress and keep it from causing damage to both your mental and physical health and your relationships. By taking positive action in your own financial life, you can find ways to mitigate and disperse that stress. Here’s how.
Tip 1: Recognize How You Respond to Stress
Stress responses can manifest in many different forms and may not be recognized as such initially. Getting the full picture of how you’re responding to financial pressure can be an important first step in dealing with it.
Increased alcohol consumption, use of recreational drugs such as marijuana, and overeating (or not eating) are good indicators of stress—and unhealthy, unhelpful responses to it, says Anne Brennan Malec, CEO and founder of Symmetry Counseling, a therapy practice headquartered in Chicago. “Short-term coping strategies are just a form of avoidance,” Malec points out. “But of course, resisting the urge to avoid your financial issues is key.”
Similarly, sleep disturbances, being short-tempered and feeling mentally overwhelmed are pretty good indicators of stress too. And ruminating over your problems (like early-morning thought spirals on how you’re going to pay the electricity bill) unfortunately won’t help them go away unless you take action. If you are seeing these signs of stress, it’s time to make changes and address the stress head on. “You’re better off—in the long and short run—looking at this thing directly so that it becomes less scary,” says Malec.
If you’re still unsure what your stress responses are, take stock of your current financial situation and how you feel about it to help you pinpoint the areas that need the most work—this could be debt, lack of savings or high bill costs. Start by writing down every money worry you have and tracking your spending. If you don’t already have a budget in place, making one could help you to identify your stressors—as well as being a good move financially in general.
Tip 2: Choose Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Stress may be an inevitable part of the human condition, but letting it wreak havoc on your mental and physical well-being is not. Replace some of those negative and avoidant coping mechanisms with healthier ones: Getting outside and taking a walk or run (without an internet-connected device) can help you stop ruminating and checking your bank balance.
Doing a relaxing style of yoga, such as yin or restorative yoga, can help you sleep better. While a glass of wine can be relaxing, two or more can disturb your sleep and cause you to make unhealthy food choices—so drink in moderation. Talking to a trusted friend or confidant can help you vent your worries and perhaps even come up with solutions.
Meditation and breath control are also shown to quickly reduce stress, lower your heart rate and resting blood pressure and help you change your perspective on your stress. Bonus: These practices cost nothing, with many YouTube videos and free apps to guide you, and they can be done anytime and anywhere. The goal of financial stress management is not to add to your financial burdens by trying to solve for them.
Tip 3: Be Informed
One part of the solution, as previously mentioned, is to examine your stress head on. “The more informed you become and the more knowledge gathered about your true financial status, the better you can manage the stress and anxiety around it,” Malec says.
Yes, that means honestly assessing your financial situation. The head-in-the-sand approach is another form of avoidance, sadly. “If you look at the actual numbers, at least you know everything there is to know,” Malec says. “You don’t have to either hypothesize or catastrophize. You just look at the real numbers: how much money is coming in, how much is going out and where can we make changes.”
She recommends using an app on your phone—such as from your RVC mobile app—to track every dollar you spend. Then focus on what you can control. Rising rent or transportation costs are out of your control, yes—but the rest of your budget can be tweaked to accommodate it. “You can control your personal spending,” says Malec.
For many people, reining in spending—or focusing it on what you value most—means coming to terms with the dreaded fear of missing out, Malec says. And you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling it, by the way. As Malec points out, we’re biologically wired to want to hang with the pack.
“That fear of not being included, it’s a biological drive to a lot of behavior. It’s evolutionary: Being together keeps us safer, so we strive not to be left out,” she explains. Finding ways to be together in less expensive settings can go a long way to mitigating stress. So too can being honest with your loved ones about what you can feasibly manage.
Tip 4: Seek Outside Help
If financial stress has gotten to a point where you feel you can’t manage it on your own, it can be helpful to discuss the issue with a professional. Some, like Malec, have trained as financial therapists, a small but growing group of specialists who can help you with money-related stress and anxiety.
Ironically, self-care practices like therapy may be exactly the type of line item you strike from your budget when you’re feeling the pinch. “When people are really feeling financial stress, going to therapy might feel like an indulgence, so they cut it or reduce the frequency of their appointments,” says Malec. In the grand scheme of things, though, it’s a much smarter spend than those unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking or avoidance.
Talking with a financial advisor, debt counselor or money coach might also bring outside perspective and strategies to help you change your financial situation in ways that lessen your stress. So be honest with them—and yourself. After all, the more you proactively deal with your stress, the less likely you’ll be counting those sheep.
Julie Anne Russell is a Brooklyn-based freelance journalist. She writes about personal finance, small business, travel and more.
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