Eileen Cho’s parents gave her the type of financially comfortable childhood most parents would love to provide for their kids, replete with a gated community, private schools and vacations around the world. The family drove luxury cars, and Cho’s brother got his own Mercedes when he was old enough to drive—not a bad gift for a 16-year-old.
But one thing was lacking: a financial education. Despite their wealth, Cho and her parents never talked about money. And while she’s grateful that she never had to worry about money growing up, Cho, now 27, says being surrounded by money gave her unrealistic expectations about what being financially sound would look like as an adult.
“I wish I had understood that being educated and employed doesn’t necessarily equate to being rich, or living comfortably,” Cho says. “I always assumed that if you went to school and got a job, you could spend however you liked.”
Rediscovering the Concept of a Budget
Without an understanding of money basics, Cho had to learn about money management through trial and plenty of error. When she was in college, Cho’s parents continued to give her a monthly allowance. Even then, Cho says she struggled with the temptation to spend all of her money at once, and she didn’t track her expenditures.
“I had to learn how to budget because my dad wouldn’t be around to give me cash when I was going out,” Cho says. “What I got at the beginning of the month had to last me the whole month.”
After college, Cho moved to Paris for graduate school, where she studied photojournalism and creative documentary studies. Her parents continued to help financially, sending her a lump sum every six months. As she did in college, Cho would often spend without tracking her money. Then, when her cash was almost gone, she’d be forced to suddenly live more frugally until she received the next infusion of funds.
“I love eating out or cooking really elaborate meals,” says Cho. “I had to learn that on some days, I just had to eat a homemade sandwich.”
Financial Freedom—and Responsibility
When Cho completed her graduate program in 2017 and started working as a freelance photographer and journalist in Paris, where she lives today, her parents stopped sending money. At that point, she was responsible for her expenses for the first time in her life.
Although Cho says she still struggles to manage her money, she has also taught herself the basics of budgeting and handling her finances on her own. She now tracks her income and expenses, saves her receipts and files her own taxes.
As a freelancer, however, Cho’s income isn’t steady, and sometimes she has to rely on her partner to help cover her bills.
“My plush upbringing has shaped me to be very bad with money,” Cho says. “My partner will joke about how I have a Chanel wallet but zero dollars in my bank account. My parents are wealthy—not me. But because I grew up in wealth, I still act as if I’m swimming in it even when I’m far from it myself.”
Although there have been times she’s had to learn the hard way to be more intentional with her spending, Cho says she understands why her parents chose not to discuss money with her. “They were raised in Korea, a country that historically struggled with a poor economy,” she says. “I think they wanted us to grow up comfortably without having to worry about basic necessities. They wanted to provide for us everything they didn’t have, and more.”
Looking back, Cho says she wishes she would have taken student jobs in college as a way to bring in her own income, or that she would have taken a salaried position after graduate school, to have steady money coming in before pursuing freelancing. But the challenges she’s experienced have taught her valuable lessons about wealth and spending.
Ultimately, she says, “Not everybody drives luxury cars, and you don’t need that Chanel bag.”
Erin Heger is a freelance journalist in Kansas City who covers topics related to healthcare policy, maternal mental health, personal finance and parenting.
Learn more about budgeting basics in our Personal Finance 101 series.