Public or private school? Religious or charter? When it comes to educating our kids, there’s a lot for parents to consider, including costs, family values and, of course, what’s best for the child.
“Every parent wants the best for their child, and they’re willing to do anything to make that happen,” says Katie McMurphy, an educational consultant with Academics Plus, based in Atlanta.
There is no one right answer, and you can’t apply a uniform standard, explains Jeff Fishman of JSF Financial, a financial advisor based in Los Angeles. “Every situation is different, including potentially for each individual kid in the family,” he says.
In 2016, the most recent year for which educational statistics were available, 5.7 million students from pre-K to 12th grade were enrolled in private schools, close to 9% of all students, and families paid a total of almost $4.5 million in tuition.
That $4.5 million doesn’t even factor in the cost of college, which averages $39,529 per year. Put that together with the cost of nonsectarian private school tuition, which averaged $22,940 per year across the United States, and sending a child to private school and college could cost almost $500,000—and that’s just one child.
But cost certainly isn’t the only factor when parents are deciding where to send their children. Here are some issues to consider when you’re deciding on the best option for your family.
Family Values
Prioritizing your family’s values is crucial, says McMurphy, whatever those values may be. “For some people there’s a religious component, for some people it is spending time with family,” she says. “If you end up with one spouse who is working an extra job or working overtime in order to make this fit for their family financially, it might not end up being the best fit in the long run, even if it’s the best school in the world.”
Your Child’s Needs
Different children have different needs. Spending time to determine how your child learns best is critical, especially if your child has special needs. “If your child has specific learning needs, the likelihood of needing to look at a smaller classroom or a private school education that could provide more support is much higher,” McMurphy says.
The Potential Burdens on Your Family
Both logistical and financial burdens will affect your family. “Anyone who has children knows you make sacrifices,” Fishman says. “But what sacrifices make sense, and what sacrifices could make you financially vulnerable? If you’re sacrificing being able to put away money for your retirement and having a secure future, that’s a really big price to pay.”
Financial choices can affect other lifestyle issues as well. “How many people are going to be sitting at the dinner table if someone has to work an extra shift?” McMurphy says. “If you need to carpool or juggle bus routes, and dad’s business is far away and you have two working parents, that can be really tricky.”
The Full Range of Schools
When you’re considering the finances, know that not all private schools cost the same. “Prep schools are going to be more expensive, and religious schools are traditionally a bit more affordable,” Fishman says. “And so when people are talking private school, part of that discussion is are you inclined to consider a Catholic school or a Jesuit school or something along those lines.”
Thinking in the long term and considering your family’s values will be extremely helpful as you make your decision.
Help With Payment
A range of cost-cutting options exist if you begin early and explore all possibilities; these will likely vary depending on your location.
“If your child had a learning disability, there’s a Georgia special needs scholarship called the SB10,” for example, McMurphy says. Other states have similar programs, and parents need to explore what’s available locally.
Once families have decided on private school and narrowed their search, McMurphy encourages them to open financial-aid discussions with the schools sooner rather than later.
“If you’re applying for financial aid, make sure that your application is in on time,” he says. “Don’t wait until the last minute to apply to the school because financial aid is [often] on a first-come, first-served basis.”
If you or someone else has set aside money for your child in a 529 savings plan, laws have changed so that you can now take $10,000 a year out of a 529 plan to pay for elementary and high school. Previously, those funds could only be used for college.
“The one challenge is that not all states have conformed, so it varies on a state-by-state basis whether it’s really going to be a tax-free withdrawal,” Fishman says.
In addition, grandparents can pay tuition without gift-tax consequences, but they need to make the check payable directly to the institution, not the child or the parents.
Making the Choice for Your Family
Whether your family has gone to private schools for generations, or you’re the first one considering it, your opinion is the one that matters. “My best advice would be do not listen to your neighbor,” McMurphy says. “Your neighbor’s family is not your family.”
Both options, public and private, can result in happy, well-educated children, she notes. “Every parent wants a happy, capable and confident child. The more we can develop that at a young age, they can do anything … achieve their dreams and pay you back.”
Marcia Lerner lives in Brooklyn, NY, and writes on finance, healthcare and children’s literature. Her articles and reviews have appeared in the New York Times and Proto magazine, as well as many financial websites and magazines.