Here's How Much LGBTQIA+ Family Planning Costs

At Riverstones Vista Capital , we believe that our employees' stories are part of our cultural fabric. Family planning is an important issue, including within the LGBTQIA+ community. To celebrate Pride Month, we're highlighting the financial challenges and resilience of the LGBTQIA+ community.

While there's room for improvement when it comes to LGBTQIA+ equality, LGBTQIA+ individuals have more options than ever when it comes to family planning. The LGBTQ Family Building Survey from Family Equality found that LGBTQIA+ millennials say they plan to have children at nearly comparable rates to their non-LGBTQIA+ peers, with a difference of just 7 percent!¹

It may be increasingly common for LGBTQIA+ people to plan families, thanks in part to legal protections like marriage equality. But the process of family planning can be more complicated when you're LGBTQIA+. For one, the cost is higher. And—thanks to legacy definitions of terms like infertility—health insurance plans rarely cover costs.²

Although it's hard to generalize, understanding the typical costs of LGBTQIA+ family planning can help you plan. Explore the typical costs of family planning when you're LGBTQIA+, and learn a few ways to save.

LGBTQIA+ Family Planning Options by Cost

From lowest potential cost to highest, here are common LGBTQIA+ family planning methods to consider.

Adoption: $0-$70,000

Artificial insemination: $1,000-$4,000 for the first round

There are two main types of artificial insemination: intracervical insemination (ICI) and intrauterine insemination (IUI). Both methods require one LGBTQIA+ parent who is physically capable of conceiving. You'll also need sperm, which can be supplied by a known donor or purchased at a sperm bank.

ICI is the process that most closely resembles cisgender, heterosexual procreation, with the insertion of sperm into the vaginal canal. You can do it at home on your own or with a midwife for support. Since ICI is fairly low-tech, your only cost is sperm. That costs around $1,000 per vial.⁵

"Known donor" sperm is free. But known donors need to pay for physical and physiological evaluations, blood and urine tests and other fees. A known donor may need to pay roughly $2,350⁶ to $2,600⁷ to get set up in a sperm bank's system and cover initial tests. The cost of subsequent rounds is much less.

In IUI, sperm is injected directly into the uterus using a catheter. The process takes as few as 10 minutes and can be done at home with a midwife to assist. IUI's success rate is around 15% to 20%.⁸

People typically try several rounds of IUI. This increases the success rate—and the cost. Factoring sperm costs into account, one round of IUI costs around $4,000. Subsequent rounds cost less when you're using known donor sperm, since the donor's initial setup is complete.

In vitro fertilization (IVF): $13,500 to $21,000

IVF is the option of choice for individuals with preexisting conditions that make it difficult to conceive, including endometriosis. Those who are unable to conceive through ICI or IUI frequently move to IVF.

The procedure is expensive. Before we dive into costs, here's a quick recap of what's involved with IVF. First, you'll take medication to encourage follicle production. The more follicles your body makes, the more eggs can be harvested. Eggs are removed, then combined with sperm in a lab setting. When embryos develop, they're either implanted in the uterus or frozen for subsequent rounds of IVF.

The first cycle of IVF costs anywhere from $13,500 to $21,000, excluding the cost of sperm.³

While IVF has a strong success rate, some people need subsequent rounds. Those cost around $4,000 to $7,000 per cycle, when using previously frozen embryos.³

Reciprocal IVF is a related, slightly more expensive option that may interest some LGBTQIA+ couples. Eggs are taken from one partner, then fertilized and implanted in the other partner. The baseline costs are the same. But you'll generally need double the amount of follicle-boosting medication.

Surrogacy: $60,000 to $150,000

In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate is not the biological mother of the child they are carrying. Because the surrogate does not provide the egg, they are not biologically related to the child.

Surrogates are usually compensated for their service, with an average payment of $45,000.⁹ You'll also need to pay for their medical care, pregnancy-related expenses and travel expenses. Taken together, costs range from $60,000 to $150,000.³ And that's if everything goes smoothly, with no complications in pregnancy or delivery.

In the U.S., states set their own laws regarding surrogacy. Surrogacy-friendly states include California, Nevada, New Hampshire and Illinois. Surrogacy-unfriendly states include Michigan, where commercial surrogacy is criminalized,¹⁰ and Louisiana, which decrees that only married, heterosexual couples can use surrogates—and they must use their own genetics to do so.¹¹ Do your research before you commit to surrogacy.

In some cases, surrogates perform their duties with no compensation beyond coverage of their medical care and expenses. For example, a sister of a gay couple may volunteer to carry a child for them with no compensation. This type of altruistic surrogacy can be a way to circumvent state laws that penalize surrogacy with compensation.

Other costs associated with LGBTQIA+ family planning

The costs outlined above don't cover all aspects of LGBTQIA+ family planning and pregnancy care. Also consider the following:

You'll want to factor in the cost of diagnostic testing, lab visits and copays for doctor's visits. If you anticipate having a family one day and decide to freeze your eggs or sperm, you'll have to pay for the procedure and annual storage costs as well.

If you take time off work to travel to an LGBTQIA+-inclusive doctor, you may lose income. That's something to plan for, too.

Lastly, there's the extra cost of legal protection for an LGBTQIA+ family. If an LGBTQIA+ parent is not the child's biological parent, they may not be considered a legal parent in some states—even if their name is on the birth certificate. Fortunately, courts often provide a fix in the form of second parent adoption. This typically costs $2,000 to $3,000.¹²

LGBTQIA+ parents don't want to be turned away from a hospital bedside in a medical emergency because of a technicality. Nor do they want to lose access to a beloved child if a divorce is initiated. For reasons like these—which are not theoretical, considering the rise in anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation in many states—securing parental rights for both parents is fundamental.

If you and a partner jointly adopted a child, good news. You are both considered legal parents. You can skip this step.

If you and a partner are using an assisted reproduction technology to conceive and you live in a state where non-biological parents are legally recognized as legal parents, you may be safe. Check the language of your state's law before you skip this step. Some states require a non-biological parent to petition the court for parent status. Others only grant legal parent status when couples are married.

Planning for Your LGBTQIA+ Family

Most health insurance plans aren't very supportive of LGBTQIA+ parents. That's due to discriminatory legal definitions of terms like "infertility."

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines infertility as the inability to conceive after one year of unprotected sex.¹³ If a couple passes this bar, insurance will often pay for treatments like IVF.² No amount of unprotected sex will lead to conception for a same-sex couple—yet these couples can't get insurance to cover IVF.

Even if a couple can meet the legal definition of infertility, health insurance coverage for something like IVF isn't guaranteed. Most states don't currently require private insurers to pay for infertility treatments.

At Riverstones Vista Capital , one of our employees experienced six rounds of IUI to ensure that insurance would cover some of the costs. However, this increased the cost.

"A heterosexual couple can say that they've been trying for six months with no luck and can get covered easier," shared our employee. "Same-sex couples have to 'prove it' more."

Covering the Costs of LGBTQIA+ Family Planning

Policies like these mean that many people have no choice but to fund their family planning themselves. This has the unintended consequence of placing such care out of reach of those who've been historically marginalized, including LGBTQIA+ people.

The good news is that there are creative ways to pay for family planning, from high yield savings accounts to financing to personal loans or grants. At Riverstones Vista Capital , our employees explore multiple options, including setting up a separate savings account to house funds for family planning costs. One couple estimated the entire process would cost around $25,000, so they saved about 25% of that prior to starting their family. The couple also used a payment plan through the hospital.

“I wish I knew that we didn't need to have a lot of money saved up to get started," our employee shared.

Family Equality maintains a database of LGBTQIA+-friendly grants that cover adoption or assisted reproductive technology. If you have access to other lines of credit, such as a Home Equity Line of Credit, this can be a good way to cover the cost of family planning services. Knowing the typical costs, you can make a financial plan and start saving to expand your family.

Resources to Support LGBTQIA+ Family Planning and Growth

• • Support and Resources for Families, Parents, and Prospective Parents (Fenway Health)¹⁴
• • LGBTQ+ Family Building Directory (Family Equality)¹⁵
• • Frequently Asked Questions From LGBTQ+ Prospective Foster and Adoptive Parents (Child Welfare Information Gateway)¹⁶

Last Word

As one employee shared, "The entire journey to parenthood took a long time—about 1.5 to 2 years. I had my people that I was comfortable talking to."

Partnered individuals who are undertaking this journey have built-in support within the relationship, but outside perspectives play an important role, too. Having trusted people to open up to about your journey helps alleviate the pressure and stress that are often part of the process of LGBTQIA+ family building.

Lindsey Danis is a freelance writer with more than 12 years of experience covering personal finance, travel and LGBTQIA+ topics. When not writing, Lindsey is often found hiking or kayaking near her Hudson Valley home.

READ MORE: Tips for Saving Money in Your Baby's First Year

 

 

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