We’ve all heard the data: Study after (depressingly predictable) study has proved that, across the board, women earn less than men. According to the American Association of University Women (AAUW), the pay gap between men and women is “real, persistent, and harmful to women’s economic security.”
So why are women paid just 80 cents for every dollar a man earns? And why, as a recent study showed, do women receive raises just 15% of the time they ask, when men receive them 20% of the time, even though both ask just as often?
One possible reason could be that “employers feel women are more likely to concede and not insist on the raise compared to men,” suggests Julia Bear, Ph.D., an associate professor in the College of Business at Stony Brook University.
But succumbing to the pay gap doesn’t have to be your destiny. This expert advice could help you push past the paradigm.
1
Aim Higher
Studies find that women are less likely to apply for jobs they think are reaches. “Research has shown that men tend to be more confident than women, though I actually interpret these findings differently,” says Bear. “I think that men may be overconfident about their abilities, whereas women may be realistic.” To shift your perspective and boost your confidence, assess your ability to learn on the job instead of expecting to be fully prepared on day one. “Think about where you want to be in the long-term future,” adds Bear. “If you have the skills and abilities to do the job in the future—even if not at this specific point in time—then go for it.”
2
Do Your Homework
Go online to research what people with your job and experience are making in your job market. But don’t stop there: Online data may be overly general and not informative enough, cautions Bear. Reach out to people in your field as well. “If you don't feel comfortable asking someone how much he or she makes, then ask them how much someone in the field with X level of education and experience typically makes,” she says. “Be sure to ask both men and women. Research shows that women typically ask other women, which may perpetuate the wage gap.”
3
Ask for More Money
Nearly two-thirds of women don’t negotiate salary when accepting a job. But Bear’s research has uncovered a surefire way to build confidence before negotiating: Recall moments when you showed assertiveness in the past or imagine that you’re negotiating for a friend. “Finally, remember that it’s not the end of the world to hear ‘no,’” she says. Indeed, the worst-case scenario here is not that a potential employer says no—it’s that you’ll work for years for less money than your male counterparts.
4
Get That Raise
Go into the conversation with your manager prepared with a fact-based appeal. How has your work benefited the company? If you’re in sales, show your stats. If you’re an engineer, talk about how your contribution helped the product launch on time. Focusing on your accomplishments has the added benefit of reminding you that this raise isn’t a gift—it’s been earned. Also, remember that salary isn’t the only negotiable item, says Bear: “Think about issues that matter to you, like working remotely or more vacation time, and negotiate for them as well.”
5
Hone Your Negotiation Skills
If negotiation makes you anxious, role play the conversation ahead of time. Practicing the negotiation will also help you respond more effectively in the moment. When you do get an offer, ask—rather than demand—if they can increase it. You want to avoid ultimatums in negotiations. “If they say no, you can still gracefully accept the position or raise,” says Bear.
6
Hire Backup
Consider hiring a career coach if you feel stuck. Look for a seasoned job coach with a modern website that shows client testimonials, rates and credentials from organizations like the Association of Career Professionals International, the Institute of Career Certification International or the International Coach Federation. Also look for a strong presence on social media and LinkedIn. These signal that the coach is relevant and that their guidance is up to date. You can work with them on negotiating salary, asking for a raise, looking for a new job that pays more, starting your own endeavor or switching fields. A good coach will provide nuanced strategies for handling money talks and also help you reframe how you think about your accomplishments, skills and value.
Maridel Reyes is a journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in Forbes, Bloomberg Businessweek, the New York Post, USA Today and The Boston Globe.